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[Oct. 19th, 2007|03:46 pm] |
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You gotta wonder sometimes what the point in doing the things you do is. Sometimes I wonder if this existence I lead is truly something of meaning or if the meaning has just been murdered and left for dead and I become the soulless undead walking the earth merely on instincts. Maybe I’m over dramatizing something that shouldn’t be made to be made into theatrics. But left alone in my thoughts I wonder a lot of things some of these things are best left unspoken and if I can find the will they would locked up and pushed in a corner of my mind to never be opened but iv tried to lock away so much shit that i'm running out of room in that attic but enough of those the past is the past and the future isn’t here yet so my focus needs to be on now this is my life I must shape it I must do something cause I don’t want to have to constantly struggle to live cause I know I would fail if I had to. I never had any real aspirations in my life I just want to be happy id deal with so much bullshit if I can just have one thing that made it all worth it. And all if this non-sense is why you shouldn’t think to much. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 18th, 2007|02:03 pm] |
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its been a long time.. I just havent bothered to write because honestly not really many ppl read this and i havent had much to write because shit hasnt really changed still same ol things. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 13th, 2007|11:46 pm] |
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due to me actually haveing something news worthy to say I just got back from the tast of chaos. Shit was pretty damn good Choidios was alright just the singer's voice is better left on a cd because that guy screams like a fat girl that is about to eat the last cup cake and someone knockes it out of her hand and it goes off a cliff. Aiden can suck a goat dick fuckin emo bitch ass bastards. Saosin was pretty good but honestly i had hoped they would be better maybe the singer was sick or something same with senses fail but they sang mostly new stuff we didnt watch the used havent really liked them in a long time so i doubt i missed much but 30 seconds to mars..... holy fuck those guys know how to mother fucking rock a god damn house. Seriously 30 seconds to mars puts on possible the best live show iv ever witnessed thank god they pretty much have a good bit of money already so i dont think i have to worry about them selling out or some shit most deff have to go next time they play in atlanta. but yeah then we went to steak and shake mmmmmmm made fun of emo kids and now i am home debateing if i can really stay up much longer. so anyway goodnight |
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| Wrong Way on a One Way Street |
[Feb. 22nd, 2007|03:51 pm] |
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Im left to wonder alot of things it feels like everything has been so one sided the things i love being bad for me and the things good for me dont interrest me. I need hope in something I have nothing i want in the for the future well thats a lie I guess I want someone to be with cause when im with someone even if its not a very good one i feel more alive then when im single and sit by my self all the time. I dont have many friends more so cause its hard to find ppl I get along with enough to hang out with around here I try. Hmm I just dont understand I dont want to go through life feel like a waste of space nor do i want to live my life alone everyone tells me ill find someone but i have my doubts because of something like i said at the first of this the ppl im interrested in dont feel that same way and the ones interrested in me i generally dont see being happy with. Ah well I cant really do shit about it. Nothing worth haveing is never easy to obtain. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 15th, 2007|02:01 pm] |
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a side note cause i tend to make certain statements where as the mood of the holiday was good the day it fell on sucked ass cause i spent 5 hours in an office waiting for some jack ass to bring a movie and they kepted saying he would be there in like 30 mins or some bullshit but yeah by the time it came i had just enough time to go take it to the theater do like the first reel then leave to go to class. Oh well its always gotta be something. Im debateing right now if i want to go for a degree or just get my computer repair shit and go somewhere else dunno yet. I need to get a pretty good idea soon i need to decide so i can get my classes in order. Anyway ill write again soon maybe heheh. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 12th, 2007|09:10 pm] |
Its already been a way different year then i expected. Im working towards something which hasnt happened in a long time but i do have my doubts about my choice school idea but ah well it will atleast look good where ever i try to get a new job. I like pretty much everyone i work with have decided the time draws near to ditch the theater job. Its so much just straight up bullshit with most of the ppl in charge being fucking retards and the maybe couple of ppl who know what they are doing either cant get shit across to ppl are just gave up trying. Ah well life goes on. V-day turned out alot differently then i orginally had dreaded it to be which makes me glad.
one true thing - who's amazing
Who's amazing? You are!
You blinded the moon and stole me the stars and
I'm aching to give you all I've got.
So here, don't break it, it's my only heart.
And tonight was the first of many.
And the days stretch out so lazy when you're far away
I feel that it might break me!
I knew it from the start this could be so hard,
What would it be if it were easy?
I knew it from the start this could be so hard,
What would it be if it were easy?
What would it be if it were easy?
Who's amazing? I think it's you.
I thought about it and made my move.
You smiled, you did, and blushed, the sound of my blood rushed and rushed.
Tonight I wish that you could be here...the further that I fall, the more I want you near me.
And the days stretch out so lazy when you're far away
I feel that it might break me!
I knew it from the start this could be so hard,
What would it be if it were easy?
I knew it from the start this could be so hard,
What would it be if it were easy?
I knew it from the start this could be so hard,
What would it be if it was..
What would it be if it was..
What would it be if it were easy.
I haven't felt this good in a million years.
Shake off the dust and cobwebs, wipe away my tears.
Cuz it's everyhting and something more about you, yeah.
I can't believe I lived this long without you |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 5th, 2007|01:30 pm] |
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I want to make this year different i want to do something different this time I want it different for u if i can make u happy then it will be a good change but what can i do. hmmm tink tink tink...... I had some thoughts but they just seem typical of something i would do I sware i lack orginality these days hmm. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 29th, 2007|05:00 pm] |
Hidden in plain view - bleed for you
The cold concrete cuts against her back
And her spirit spills with blood onto the pavement
Hands tied so tight behind her neck
And a silence falls, and everything changes
Everything dies, to you nothing's alive, to you anymore
I guess you've gotten more than you may have wanted
If I could take your pain away (pain away)
I would scream for you
And I'll bleed for you (for you feel this way)
So you’ll never feel this way (again)
When you’re in my arms (again)
I would scream for you
I will bleed for you
She drowns herself until the images erase
But the skin is bruised all along her thighs
Nightmares repeat refrain the memories remain*
In mental photographs haunting all the time
So she shuts her eyes, to you she tries to hide
From you, she falls asleep into dreams where she is safe
If I could take your pain away (pain away)
I would scream for you
And I'll bleed for you (for you feel this way)
So you'll never feel this way (again)
When you're in my arms (again)
I would scream for you
I will bleed for you
So put the weight on my shoulders
And the pain in my heart
Tie the knots in my stomach
and let it tear me apart.
So I could be everything you need
So put the weight on my shoulders
And the pain in my heart
Tie the knots in my stomach
and let it tear me apart.
So tear me apart
And this silence strips me bare,
and your body pins me down.
I've never been so scared to breathe,
afraid to make a sound.
But all I know (is you'll never let me go...)
Kick and scream, and bite, and bleed,
and make believe it's all a dream.
If I could take your pain away (...go)
I would scream for you
And I'll bleed for you (for you feel this way)
So you'll never feel this way (again)
When you're in my arms (again)
I would scream for you
I will bleed for you
(Pain away) I would scream for you
I will bleed for you
(Pain away)
I will bleed for you |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 14th, 2007|01:06 am] |
due to me not likeing to do those things on myspace ill post it here
how old were you when you first....
1. Fell in love: I dunno I keep questioning if i ever really have been in love yet
2. Lost someone close to you: 9 or 10
3. Got drunk: never really gotten drunk i guess the closest would be 20
4. Smoked weed: 18
5. Got kissed: 15
6. Went to the hospital for surgery: never
7. Got your heart broken badly: 21
8. Lost a pet: god knows they came and went
9. Got arrested: never
10. Smoked a Cigarette: 3 but obviously it wasnt the whole thing
11. Broken a bone: toe in 4th grade so like 10 or 11
15. Went to a concert: first real one was 18
16. Got your own cell phone: 16
17. Had 1st boy/girl friend: 17ish
18. Got a myspace account: 19 i think
19. Snuck out of the house most during the age of: lol i do it more so now just so i dont piss off my mom never did when i would get in trouble for doing so
20. Pierced other than your ears: n/a
21. Got caught having sex: close but never really been caught have sex
23. Snuck someone in your house: 17
24. How old are you now? 21 |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 11th, 2007|03:29 pm] |
School isnt gonna be so bad atleast not with my current classes i just need to take the time to read and do the work. the classes i go to are usely only like 2 hours just have to get up early for one of them but ah well ill get used to it. Im ready to grow up a little yes ill have to work alot but then ill have money to live off of atleast. Heheh well i gotta go work in a little bit hopefully we get a movie that doesnt suck but im pretty sure everything comeing out this weekend is crap so oh wells.
taproot - promise
Tonight's the night in your arms again
Be the one to make me whole and then
Say whatever you have to say to me on and honestly
Every single thought of you amazes me
So I'll promise you, I'll promise you to me
(Every single time that you've forgiven me)
To find the one with your heart and stem
Freed and mine much more than the rest of them
Seed the chance to grow and be with me
The way I know and see
There you are in my thoughts again
Fearing all we have is dead
Taken time as the best of friends
Pleae don't let me down again |
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